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Naturally Grown Hockey Sticks Soon To Hit Market

Updated: Jan 23

Naturally Grown Hockey Sticks Soon To Hit Market



In this "artist's" rendition of the hockey tree, the foliage has fallen and the sticks are ready to be harvested.

Undisclosed location, Province of Québec – It was only a matter of time.


A Canadian biologist has succeeded in creating the perfect Canadian icon: a naturally grown hockey stick!


And it should be soon made available at sports shops everywhere.


The biologist who doesn’t want to be named said that only one species of trees can be altered in that way and it is a special variety of maple that he will not specify.


The first genetic transformation attempts involved all sorts of hockey sticks from different brands, some of which were not even made of wood.


Only a very specific kind of Victoriaville brand hockey stick can be used to genetically alter the trees to allow them to grow the most amazing and durable hockey sticks in the world.


As one can see on the illustration, the sticks come in different sizes. They have to be trimmed and polished before being ready for action.


Only one out of ten sticks harvested will turn into a goalie stick.


For decades, scientist from around the world have tried to find formulas to grow natural cricket wickets, baseball bats and for unknown reasons, football goal posts.

Some have even tried to grow baseballs, basketballs and hockey pucks directly from rubber trees.


However, this is the first successful attempt at sustainability in sports anywhere on the globe.


Professional hockey players refuse to comment publicly on this amazing scientific breakthrough, but it appears most of them are looking for alternatives to those sticks that seem to always fall to pieces when someone gets a breakaway.

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